Today is the first day of preschool for my youngest. I am emotionally divided between excitement and guilt. The excitement is pretty easy to account for. I love to see my kids grow, venture out and explore, achieve milestones. I also admit to a great deal of pleasure at the prospect of a few hours a week to myself. On the other hand, this is my baby. The youngest. I have some trepidation about how well she will handle things, and it's hard to put my baby into the hands of others (stay-at-home-mom syndrome?) Mostly, though (and here's where the guilt comes in), I worry that my excitement is misplaced, and that soon I will realize that childhood has disappeared and I can never get it back. You know all the conventional wisdom about how much you will miss the little hand prints on the walls and being woken in the night to give hugs after a bad dream. What if it's true, and I should even now be filled with sorrow and regret? In essence, I feel guilty now because I might feel guilty later. Crazy. The thing is, all these emotions don't change the fact that I think this is the best thing for my little one, and so I'm going forward with it anyway. So wish us luck. First day of school!! (Sigh.)
No comments:
Post a Comment