What I've been reading (part of)

I picked up a book the the library called Secrets and Wives: The Hidden World of Mormon Polygamy, by Sanjiv Bhattacharya. I'm always interested in a book about polygamy, told from either side of the moral fence, but this one, told from the perspective of a complete outsider (a British journalist of East-Indian descent based in the US) promised to be interesting and hopefully fairly non-biased. The following excerpts were from within the first 60 pages of the book.

It's April 1, the Sunday of the LDS Church's biennial National Conference weekend, and anywhere between a billion and a trillion Mormons are pouring out of the conference center. The men and boys look chipper and corporate, their dark suits so stiff the hangers might still be in the jackets. The women resemble an army of Martha Stewarts or small-town news anchors, supreme in their assurance that their salvation is secure, their linens spotless and their souffles certain to rise in this life and in the next. No one rushes or dawdles or crisscrosses the rows, and this goes for the children, too. The orderliness is immaculate. Their pacing and posture is so even, so metronomic that I'm thinking of microchips and slow-release medication, to Nurse Ratched, George Orwell and Invasion of the Body Snatchers starring Donald Sutherland. Outside of Japan or the insect world, I've never seen anything less unruly. It's so very ruly it's terrifying.

Really? Terrifying? I've been to conference. I've seen the crowds when they get out. I've never seen anything metronomic about them. Kids run and skip. People jostle each other as they try to get to their cars just a little bit faster than the family next to them. The only difference between this crowd and the crowd leaving say, a symphony performance or an Amway convention (hee hee) is that the General Conference crowd is nicer. But slow-release medication? Either this guy went to the one conference where only robots attended, or he was looking for a certain behavior before he set out. Later in the same chapter, he discusses the streets of Salt Lake City:

Spend a few days in Salt Lake City, however, and the prospect of Mormon power is a shuddering thought. And not just because of the dismal liquor laws. In the Downtown District surrounding the temple, the streets are vast, vacant, and alienating; the intersections are barren expanses; pedestrians look lost and cowed. It's Brigham Young's fault for stipulating that the streets should be wide enough to turn a horse and carriage. He surely envisioned his Mormon Mecca as a hive of bustling saints, busy consecrating their profits to his beloved church. Instead he created a scene from 28 Days Later, peopled only by missionary drones stalking the streets searching for new souls. Even cars look adrift, stranded at red lights for eternities, watching tiny pedestrians traverse immense crossings.

All right, he does have some funny comments to make, I agree. Mormon women confident that their souffles will rise in this life and in the next? Funny. Dismal liquor laws? I don't even drink and I agree the liquor laws in this state are very quirky, and not in an endearing way. But alienating streets? Pedestrians lost and cowed? There are many avenues just as wide in New York City. I doubt he would use the same descriptions for the streets in the Big Apple. Maybe we just keep things too clean here. Or need more winos begging on the corners. Then maybe he'd feel more comfortable. My point, though, is this: If the man can't even describe Mormon crowds or the streets of Salt Lake City without resorting to negative and foreboding imagery, how can I believe that his take on any of his experiences is without a serious slant? I can't. My hopes of a non-biased perspective are misplaced. I'm so disturbed by the smarmy, condescending tone, I'm wondering if it's even worth my time to finish the book. What should you do when you begin to question the value of a book partway through?

Star Wars

Hee hee. Star Wars silliness.

Shoe giveaway - yes, shoes!!

My favorite shoe review blog is giving away a free pair of Jambu shoes from the fall/winter line. Jambu are some of my favorite styles. They are funky and comfortable - very me. So, even at the risk of decreasing my chances to win, I'm willing (happy, actually) to share the link with you. Go. Comment. Win.

Birthday cake

Katie's 8th birthday was today. She asked for a Phineas and Ferb cake, and as Perry is the only character that I think is at all attractive, this was the cake I went with. Although it was a very simple design, I'm pleased with how it turned out. I think I captured his expression well. Hey, where's Perry?
The cake was a standard yellow boxed mix, baked into two 9-inch layers. I frosted them with store frosting (shh, don't tell anyone) colored Perry color (sky blue with a touch of green). I traced the bill and filled it with yellow frosting, piping it in with a round tip, but then spreading it to make it smooth. I then outlined it in orange. The eyes were difficult. First I tried making some eyes out of frosting on a sheet of waxed paper and freezing it, hoping to transfer them to the cake when frozen. Well, store-bought frosting doesn't get hard in the freezer. Crap! About 1/2 hour before the dinner (where we would serve the cake) I was trying to decide what to do, when I saw the almond bark and the bakers chocolate in the cupboard. I knew they would turn hard in the freezer. So, a quick melt of white chocolate, a speedy art moment of shaping the eyes, and about 2 minutes in the freezer and I had the whites. I placed the two best on the cake and piped the melted dark chocolate around for the brows and irises. Then into the fridge with it all to get it all to set, and...voila! I was very pleased (as well as relieved.) And the girl was thrilled. I love the big smile when they see the cake for the first time. Fabulous!!

Katie's baptism invitation

I made this invitation over the last couple of days. I am very pleased with it.
It feels good to have done one good thing in the morass of laziness and self-indulgence that has been my life of late. (Working on that.)

An excellent FHE

We had LDS General Conference this weekend, which means 8 hours of church for the kiddos, though thankfully not all in a row. It's not easy to keep the kids paying attention for that long, but our kids are getting older, so we insist that they take notes. This actually works quite well. I reward them (with daddy dollars - good for wii time) for staying on task and not needing reprimands, but I also wanted to reward them for the quality of their notes. In the past I have given a candy bar, or a portion thereof, depending on the thoroughness of their notes (taking into account their ages and abilities.) This year, I wanted to avoid the candy thing, the direct connection between good behavior and sugar. Yesterday, I had an idea. I went through my own notes and also did some online searching and found quotes from many of the talks. I tried to find a quote that really represented the gist of each talk, or a very recognizable tagline. I also included some very simple questions for the little ones. Then we had an open-note quiz-show type contest for FHE, trying to guess who said each quote. It was so fun! The kids were searching their notes for the right talk, looking for either the direct quote or even a talk with the same subject matter. We had some basic ground rules to make things flow easier. The simple questions were for the little girls only, and they were allowed to answer in age order (i.e. Sarah got first crack, followed by Katie, then Liz.) The quotes were open to everyone. First hand up was called on first. If you answered once and got it wrong, you had to wait until everyone had made a guess before you were allowed to try again. When you got an answer correct, you got to choose a prize from the "prize bucket" that I keep in the house, filled with little items like erasers, pencils, balloons, stickers, and whatever little things I pick up during the year on clearance, etc. It was a blast! Definitely a keeper. The kids should have an easier time taking notes next time, now they know how to listen and what kinds of things to write down. I think this will become a fun family Conference tradition. Below are the quotes and questions I used this year.

• Let us be as quick to kneel as we are to text. -Ian S. Ardern
• The lord uses a scale very different from the world’s to weigh the worth of a soul. -Pres. Uchtdorf
• Was told by Pres. Monson, “It’s better to look up.” -Carl B. Cook
• I promise you that if you will respond to invitations to share your beliefs and feelings about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ a spirit of love and a spirit of courage, will be our constant companion for 'perfect love casteth out fear.' -L. Tom Perry
• Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds. -Richard G. Scott
• The devil could not have written it. It must be from God. -Tad R. Callister
• The most important thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother. -Elaine S. Dalton
• Be loyal to the royal within you. -Elaine S. Dalton
• It is extremely important that we have a spirit of gratitude in our hearts. -Quentin L. Cook
• Hello! -Thomas S. Monson
• First we have promised to become charitable. Second, we promised to become witnesses of God. And third we promised to endure. The Book of Mormon is the best guide to learn how well we are doing and how to do better. - Henry B. Eyring
• The name the Savior has given to His Church tells us exactly who we are and what we believe. We believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior and the Redeemer of all mankind. He atoned for all who would repent of their sins, and He broke the bands of death and provided resurrection from the dead. We follow Jesus Christ. - M. Russell Ballard
• Although the world has changed, the laws of God remain constant. They have not changed; they will not change. The ten commandments are just that -- commandments. They are not suggestions. They are every bit as requisite today as they were when God gave them to the children of Israel. - Thomas S. Monson
• Youth today are being raised in enemy territory with a declining standard of morality. But as a servant of the Lord, I promise that you will be protected and shielded from the attacks of the adversary if you will heed the promptings that come from the Holy Spirit. -Boyd K. Packer
• It may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember -- you matter to Him! - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
• We believe in families, and we believe in children. -Niel L. Andersen
• We learned that in order to go to our son’s rescue, we did not need a planning meeting. We simply acted.- Jose L. Alonso
• Sister Biereictal, because of her love and her charitable nature, even in her own great need she willingly shared her food with a starving prisoner of war. Later, when asked how she was able to keep her testimony during all those trials, she replied, “I didn’t keep a testimony through those times. The testimony kept me.” -Barbara Thompson
  
  QUESTIONS FOR LITTLE KIDDOS
  
• Where does Conference take place?
• How often do we have Conference?
• Who did you sustain as prophet, seer, and revelator?
• How many members in The Quorum of the 12 Apostles?
• Name one group who sang during Conference.
• Who presides at Conference?
• Name one person who conducted Conference.