So each year I make myself and the kids a bookmark with yearly goals on it. Things we want to end the year doing better, or not doing at all, whatever. My bookmark has a few general goals for the whole year, and then a new goal for each month that I only have to accomplish for that month. I figure that gives me time to establish a habit if I want, but if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, I can leave it behind and not feel guilty about failing for the rest of the year. Make sense? So my goal for the month of April as to blog twice a week. Hmmmm. I'm obviously having a hard time with that one. There is a lot going on in my life, but I don't feel like typing it up. I'm not sure if I'm just lazy, or if life is frustrating me so much I just don't feel like sharing. Both, I think. I do have another blog these days, Morning, Noon and Night, which is just a repository for recipes. But if I count the entries on that blog (which I am definitely going to do), then I've kept my goal. However, I do want to keep up on this blog as well, so I'll do a quick recap of life these days.
Aubrey has decided she wants to try home school, so we pulled her out of school and have had her at home for a week now. She's a teenage girl, which means every action must be accompanied by much drama, either in the form of childlike (childish?) enthusiasm for things she likes, or conversely, sighs and pouting (tears even, occasionally) for things she considers horrendously burdensome. She does seem to be getting the work done faster than she would at school, but I do wonder how thoroughly she is learning the subject matter. It remains to be seen how well home schooling serves her. I know it's giving me plenty of opportunity to practice those patience muscles.
Due to some female-type issues (regarding which I will be happy to give you details if you ask me in person), it looks like I will be planning a major surgery within the next month or so. Yes, that major, female-related surgery. The issues and subsequent surgery plans have put a little dent in my fitness efforts. I've gained back quite a bit of the weight that I lost over the last few years. This causes me much stress, as well as the psychological baggage that comes with giving up such a huge part of my identity. I really will be glad to put things behind me and get back into the swing of things again. I want to do some serious running and biking. Soon...soon.
Not to mention (stupid phrase, because hey, I'm going to mention it), my birthday is this month. Yep. 42 years old. Most days this doesn't bother me at all. But there are some days it scares me. Not because I'm getting old, per se, but because it means everything is going to change. My baby will go to kindergarten next year, and I'll have to look at being a different person than "mom of little kids." I like who I am. I don't know if I want to be that older lady, "mom with kids all at school." And that's another step on the path to "mom of grown-ups," which is a place that really scares me. I am happy. I love my life. Maybe I won't love my future life as much as I love my present life. How sad would that be? Always remembering the good old days when I was truly happy? Scares me.
So, I think these are the reasons I yell at my kids too much these days. And why I don't blog. So there.
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