Unjustified

Saturday evening my brother-in-law called and invited the girls to come over and go swimming. Russ and I were in the office and concurred that neither of us wanted to go, but someone should take the girls anyway. This someone is usually me, which is fine. I'm the mom. I get to stay at home, and that earns me a much freer schedule in some ways, but a more demanding one in others. One of the ways in which it is more demanding is that I'm always on call, 24/7. Russ had just spent the day planting corn, fixing sprinklers, weeding the back lot, and getting the little house rented. He leaves early in the morning, works as long as he can, and comes home tired. I stay at home and work all day, too, but my duties ebb and flow and are more re-arrangeable than his, so it usually falls to me to continue supervising the kids until bedtime. And I think I'm pretty happy with the system as it exists at our house. This particular evening, I was blogging, so when Russ got of the phone and we decided the kids should go swimming, he turned and finished his finances, and I finished my blog entry. When I shut off my computer, he was dressed in his swim stuff and was hollering at the kids to get ready. I was surprised. "I thought you didn't want to go." I said. "I don't," he replied, "But I think they need to go, so I'm going." Can I just tell you how mad I was? I was furious. Livid. How dare he? I mumbled something sarcastic about being sorry I finished my blog before I got ready, and then I just shut the bedroom door and let him go. I took a good hour to calm down, and I really began to wonder why I should be so insulted. If he had complained about my timing I would have told him that if he wanted things done according to his schedule, he was welcome to do them himself. Which is exactly what he did. And I was actually happy to not have to go. So why was I so mad? Was I irrational, or were his actions really insulting? I still can't decide. I guess I don't mind if he takes some of these duties on himself, but only if it's because he loves me or wants to give me a break, and not because he thinks I'm failing in some way. Anyway, I recovered my composure long before they got home, and we haven't spoken of it again, but I wonder. Which was it? And do I really want to know?

Corn...when did I eat corn?

We planted a field full of corn today. Row by row, 2 seeds at a time. My neck got sunburned and I felt like a farmer's wife. The implement we used looked something like this image. You press the pointed end into the ground, then press the handles together, which opens up the end in the ground, making a hole. Then you drop the corn seeds down the length of the tool into the hole and you close the handles again and lift the tool out of the ground, Then, as you press the tool into the ground about a foot further down the row, you step on the previous hole to press the dirt down and cover the seeds well. So you do this about a hundred times in a row, for about 50 rows. It's hot and repetitive , but at least it's easy enough that you can visit and talk while you work. And when it's all done, it's actually pretty satisfying to look over the field full of neat little furrows that you planted and envision how it will look in a month or two. I am glad we only have to do it once a season, though.

A long day.

On Wednesday Russell punished Katie and Liz for some infraction by assigning them to weed a 15'x20' unplanted (mostly bare) patch of our garden. Who knew this would turn out to be the most difficult task they have ever attempted in their lives?

8:45 - Girls are given their assignment and told to get started. They work diligently for approximately 4 minutes before beginning to throw dirt at each other and play together.
9:00 - I go outside to remind them to work. They work for 2 minutes before they wander over to the fence to watch the sheep next door. (Which I have to admit are very interesting, with little lambs and all.)
9:10 - I yell at them from the back porch to get back to work. They walk to the weeds and stand and look at me.
9:15 - Repeat of previous actions.
9:25 - Ditto.
9:30 - Upon finishing my indoor chores, I go out to help. I tell them to get out from under the peach tree and then offer to work with them as long as they work.
9:40 - I leave, because even with me working right next to them, they will not work. I tell them they cannot have a snack or lunch or any other food until they are done. If they start working right now they could be done in 30 minutes. I clean the driveway and back porch. They play.
11:30 - They realize that lunch is coming up soon and they are getting hungry. I think perhaps a corner will be turned. They pull a few weeds and then go back to watch the sheep. Oh, well.
12:30 - I remind them of lunch, but they seem uninterested. I tell them to stay in their little area, and they do...until I go inside again.
1:45 - Russell comes in and asks if I have gone into the empty house next door for anything. I haven't. They have found an unlocked door and been resting and playing in the empty house, although they are not there now. I check on them again. They are hanging things from the clothesline that crosses the weed patch. We lock the empty house.
2:00 - I am inside keeping the other kids busy, and I sit down on my bad for a minute or two. I fall asleep. After about 20 minutes I start to have bad dreams about everything that could go wrong out there with no one keeping an eye on them, so I get up and go out. Everything is fine. I should say, everything is the same as it has been all day. Girls playing, weeds thriving. I keep peeking out every so often to make sure they are alive.
3:45 - Russ and I go check on the progress. No girls. We see them in the back lot playing with something. Closer inspection is called for. They have found some old bottles of stucco dye that Russ's brother, Craig has left out there. The bottles hold about 8 oz. of vary dark dye that is the consistency of yogurt. Liz and Kate have uncapped about 6 or 7 of them and used fox tails as paintbrushes to paint the side of a big dump truck in the back lot. Of course they have managed to drip/smear a liberal amount of dye onto themselves: hands, faces, clothes, hair. We clean up what we can and march them over to Uncle Craig's to confess and apologize. They do so, to which Uncle Craig responds by telling them they've probably learned a lesson and would they like some strawberries? Thank you, Craig! That'll teach 'em! We allow them to pick the strawberries, but will not allow them to eat until....yep. Until the weeds are done.
4:15 - Back home, and I have had it. I sit on a lawn chair in the middle of the patch and point to weeds, individually and specifically, and demand their removal from the ground and deposit into the trash. The girls cry about how unfair everything is, but it takes us about 15 minutes using this method to finish the job.

15 minutes.

They have spent an entire day in the hot sun, getting yelled at by parents, not eating, not hiking to play in the river (which was one of the things I had planned for the day), and not going to the library (another plan). All for 15 minutes of work. That is so frustrating for me. I want them to learn to be self-motivated, and I believe the way to do it is to allow them some opportunities to reap the consequences of failure. Unfortunately we all have to miss out on the fun things as well when one or two children choose to fail. But I can think back and remember JR having the same kinds of days, and he eventually learned. He's much better than he used to be, so I have hope for the future. Of course, I still have children coming up. It's going to be a long haul. Let's just hope my sanity will stand by me until the end.

To quote the famous poet...

It was Burns that said, "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men, Gang aft agley." Well, my best laid plans went awry last week when I went shopping at Costco and found a boxed set of the first 3 Percy Jackson and the Olympians books by Rick Riordan for only $10.99. That's less than $4 a book! I had no choice but to buy them. And then, of course, I had to read them. So all those lovely books I was planning on reading are still sitting in the "library books" section of my bookshelf, and 3 new paperback books each have a crease in their spine, but I feel so much better acquainted with Greek/Roman mythology. It was an enjoyable week. I am always slightly surprised when authors keep writing good, new books. Somewhere in the back of my brain is a little corner that believes all the good stuff is already written, that there cannot be anything really great being written because there are only so many ideas and combinations of words that can be strung together. Maybe it's the old fogey in me that wants to be sure the old days were the best days, or maybe it's the cynic in me that wants to believe that civilization is hurtling toward destruction and nothing good can be forthcoming. Whatever it is, I have a delicious sense of discovery every time I read a new series of books that I truly enjoy. And I enjoyed the Percy Jackson series, what I've read of it. (My name is on the library list for the last 2 installments in the series, but I'm sure they follow the entertaining pattern already set by Mr. Riordan.) Definitely recommend.

I need to say...

A couple of months ago someone I know and love put a video on their blog. It was a special comment by Kieth Olbermann about the "myth" of death panels. (If you watch it, don't forget to catch part 2.) If you recall, during the debate over health care, some supposed that there would be "death panels" created to determine whether or not a person was deserving of the expense of the medical care called for. Opinions about the possibility of these "death panels" were passionately expressed, including that of Mr. Olbermann. His father is in the hospital for an extended stay because of his health issues. A particular night stood out in Mr. Olbermann's memory wherein his father was in serious pain and distress. The concerned son and the physician consulted together and made some decisions about pain medication, etc. that eventually relieved the elder Mr. Olbermann's distress. This, says Mr. Olbermann, is what a death panel really is. Just concerned parties responsibly and jointly making decisions for the good of the patient. Far from the scary specter of a disinterested and distant collection of nameless faces dictating life or death. My fellow blogger posted it and expressed her agreement with his point of view, as his situation echoed her experience during the death of her mother from cancer. It is very hard to refute very emotionally-based expressions of opinion such as this. I heartily disagree with the idea of state mandated health care, and even more with a state-run, state-mandated health care system. Due to the highly emotional nature of this video, it had a serious impact on my thinking, and I have had it in the back of my mind for months, thinking about how the story told and the opinion expressed affected my own.

Starting a few months back, I have been observing a situation that developed with some friends of mine, and it stands in sharp contrast with Mr. Olbermann's experience. A friend's husband wasn't feeling well last December, went to the doctor, and was diagnosed with acute lymphoma. He's young, maybe thirty, self-employed, with a young family. Because of his employment situation, he qualified for Medicaid and went into treatment. He didn't respond to the chemotherapy and radiation as well as they would like, and his physicians recommended a bone marrow transplant. However, the board that reviews such things decided, based on his overall response to treatment, that his prognosis did not warrant the expense of said transplant. He was denied. Never mind his doctors recommendation. Never mind his determination to beat this disease. Never mind his family and their need for a father and husband. Even if treatment extended his life by only a year or two, think what that would mean to his 7 and 5-year-old. Another year or two is an eternity to these kids. Their memories of their father would be so much more clear if they could grow just a little bit older with him. Think what those few years would mean to the wife who is right now carrying his youngest child. Even a year would allow him to be present at the birth of his child, to share that experience with his family. What would you give for an extra year with your loved ones? Can you put a price on it? The odds were against his recovery, though, so Medicaid declined to cover the treatment. If he could pay for it himself, he was welcome to get the transplant, but with a $30,000 price tag, that was impossible. If he had private insurance (at least my insurance), the insurance would have had to pay. The contract requires them to pay for covered expenses based on doctor's recommendations. But not Medicaid. There is a faceless panel of persons somewhere looking at numbers and making life or death decisions for this family, and they decided his life was not worth the expense.

That, Mr. Olbermann, is a death panel. And that is what we fear.

Mr. Olbermann says his father has Medicare, like my friend, plus some supplemental insurance. They were both covered by the government, but if I had to guess which of the two above experiences would be more likely in a government-run health care system, I would say my friend's situation would be far more likely. We all know how efficient large government entities are, right? We've dealt with them. And therefore I say, emphatically, "No thank you!" I'm not interested. Let me be responsible for my family.

I do agree that change is needed in this country. First: Overhaul the insurance business to allow for freer access by the general public. Get the government out of the pockets of the insurance business and quit protecting insurance with endless regulations and controls. Allow more free-market competition into the business, because if there is a profit to be made from running an business well, someone will be there to make it. It is the stifling regulation that keeps insurance business free from innovative, efficient new-comers. Get the government OUT and allow the free market to dictate what kinds of insurance the people want. Government needs only ensure that contracts made are contracts honored. Second: Clean up the Medicare/Medicaid industry so there is a safety net available to those who, for whatever reason, cannot afford private health care. But it should be viewed as the unemployment system is viewed, as a temporary measure, something available when needed, but only for a short time, to help until one can take care of oneself again. Third: Allow those who are arrogant enough to ignore the need for insurance to fail. If you are gainfully employed and choose not to have insurance, that you should be forced to accept the consequences of that choice. Perhaps you will get cancer and subsequently not be able qualify for insurance because of that pre-existing condition. Then either you go without treatment, or you go bankrupt trying to pay for the treatment you couldn't afford. But that choice, that gamble, was yours. If insurance is affordable and readily available and you choose not to avail yourself of it, then I say too bad.

This post may well be moot at this time. We'll have to stand by and see how the pending lawsuit about the constitutionality of requiring citizens to have insurance coverage goes. The system as it stands is broken. It needs serious overhaul. But I honestly see the alternative that is being forced upon the American public as more frightening than what exists now. Please don't force me into a system that allows me no choice, that dictates not only what treatments I can receive, but also what treatments I cannot. Let me choose for myself. That's the freedom I want, and the freedom I am constitutionally guaranteed.

On a completely different note...

Looking for images for the previous blog entry I happened across this image. Wow! Moms, please watch out how closely you guard the poisons in your home, because in our artificially colored world, kids can be so easily confused. This is the blog I found this image on. Looks like an interesting blog.

Summer treats

We are concerned about our sugar intake here at the LeBaron household. Research indicates that refined sugar (whether in the form of table sugar or high fructose corn syrup) is terrible for your body, causing all sorts of problems from obesity and diabetes to depressing your immune system. This lecture is one that I feel is descriptive and accurate, albeit quite long, and I would advise anyone concerned about their nutritional well-being to watch it when you get a chance. That being said, it's hard to find drinks and treats for the summer that aren't loaded with sugar. Kool-aid, Capri Sun, soda, and commercial Popsicles are just sugar water. Even commercial juices like Juicy Juice and Capri Sun Naturals are not good, because the "juice" they use is highly refined and there is no fiber left. But water gets old pretty quick, and who wants "water-pops"? My husband, who works out in the heat most of every summer day wants to drink something that replaces the salts he loses in his sweat, but I don't want to buy him Gatorade, because of the sugar thing, as well as the cost. What's a mom to do?

I've done a little research and found a couple of alternative sweeteners that we use to help reduce our dependence on traditional sugar. The first item we use is powdered stevia. I use stevia to boost the sweetness of cooked items like oatmeal and farina, as well as in things like yogurt smoothies and our hot morning drink, Kafree Roma (no, not coffee.) Stevia does have a unique flavor that does not lend itself to being the only sweetener in an item. It's better as a supplemental sweetener because it has sort of a one-note flavor and it can be bitter if you get too much of it. But stevia helps me cut way down on the sugar content of things that we expect to be sweet. I usually buy it in 1 oz. jar, but a serving of 1/16 of a teaspoon is plenty to sweeten a cup of drink, so you don't have to use much at all. I usually use 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon at a time. An ounce of powder lasts several months at our house.

The other product I have found is dextrose (which is also known as glucose.) You may know that glucose is half of the sweetness component of table sugar (sucrose.) The other half is fructose, which is really the bad guy in the entire sugar business. So when I found out that I could buy glucose by itself, I was very anxious to try it. I bought a 50lb. bag from Honeyville Grain online. It costs about twice as much as table sugar, and is not nearly as sweet, so you end up using more than you otherwise would. It is more of a powder, so it doesn't even act like sugar in recipes. I'm working on developing recipes that I can use the glucose/dextrose in, but it's taking me a while. You also have to bear in mind that dextrose/glucose is still a nutritionally empty food. It's still tons of calories without any nutritional benefit, so you still need to be sparing with it's use, but it's great for those times when you really need to have a sweetener. Like when your husband wants Gatorade.

Here is my recipe for homemade Gatorade, which we are calling Dexterade for now (I would like to come up with a better name. LeBaronade? Nah.) You can buy potassium chloride under the brand name Morton Salt Substitute. I buy it in an 8oz. bottle from NOW foods, in the supplements section.

Homemade Electrolyte Replacement Drink (Maybe Summerade?)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 pkg. Kool-aid mix (or other unsweetened punch powder)
1-1/2 c. dextrose
1/4 tsp. stevia
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/2 tsp. potassium chloride
1 gallon water

Mix well.

For popsicles we use juice (real juice like orange juice from concentrate or home pressed apple juice), milk flavored with jam or fruit puree, yogurt smoothie, banana smoothie, half-strength pudding (2x milk), and rarely leftover soda. The kids love these and eagerly make the popsicles each morning so they are frozen by the time afternoon playtime comes around.

All in all, we hope to keep our sugar consumption down, because there will be times that soda or punch will be the only drink available, and there will be treats at parties, etc. I just do my best and try to remember the old adage, "God grant me courage to change the things I can change; the serenity to accept the things I cannot; and wisdom to know the difference."

Here are a couple of articles regarding sugar.
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/04/20/sugar-dangers.aspx

http://www.healingdaily.com/detoxification-diet/sugar.htm

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/20/health/20brod.html?scp=3&sq=jane%20brody&st=cse (Interesting comment on advertising's effect on kids sugar consumption.)